


Make a Religion

by xslytherclawx



Series: ô saisons, ô châteaux (ravenclaw au) [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, Jewish Character, Jewish Holidays, LGBT Character(s), M/M, Pureblood Culture (Harry Potter), Ravenclaw Regulus Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 00:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17314556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xslytherclawx/pseuds/xslytherclawx
Summary: For Regulus Black, now a third year in Ravenclaw House, his time is spent in a balancing act between his own desires and what his parents expect of him (continuation of the family line, flawless marks, and a win in every Quidditch match chief among them).And, unlike his roommate, Isaac Goldstein, he's not distracted by half-blood girls. Or any girls, really.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

>   
> _As he rose in school he began to make a religion of some other boy. When this boy, whether older or younger than himself, was present, he would laugh loudly, talk absurdly, and be unable to work. He dared not be kind – it was not the thing – still less to express himself in words. And the adored one would shake him off before long, and reduce him to sulks. However, he had his revenges. Other boys sometimes worshipped him, and when he realised this he would shake off them. The adoration was mutual on one occasion..._  
>  E. M. Forster, _Maurice_ , 1914.
> 
> * * *
> 
> welcome to Year Three! This one's definitely gayer and angstier than Year Two!
> 
> there are a lot of references to _Maurice_ throughout, so I'd recommend at least looking up the book on wiki if not actually reading the book itself (not the movie - while excellent, it takes some departures that make some of the references nonsensical).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus visits Max for his bar mitzvah

Regulus half expected his parents to change their mind about letting him spend the weekend at the Scamanders’ (still wasn’t sure why they’d ever agreed to this) until Friday morning when he and Sirius stood in the drawing room in front of the fireplace with weekend bags packed at their feet. Their mother gave them a lecture about not embarrassing the family, or doing anything to disgrace the family name, and then sent them off.

Sirius went to James Potter’s house, and then it was Regulus’s turn.

He didn’t fully anticipate to end up in the Scamanders’ living room, even as he gave the direction of ‘Scamander Residence, Dorset!’ – but then he came out of the fireplace to see Max and Isaac sitting on the sofa, playing Wizards’ Chess.

Regulus barely had time to get his bearings before Max had him in a tight hug. “You’re here!”

“Let him _breathe,_ Max,” Isaac said from his spot on the couch.

Max reluctantly let go of him, and frowned, turning to Isaac. “You know as well as I do that Regulus is _desperately_ under-hugged. Besides, I haven’t seen him in a whole _two weeks_.”

“It’s fine,” Regulus said to Isaac. “It’s Max.”

“At least _someone_ loves me,” Max said, taking Regulus by the hand and leading him back to the sofa.

“Course I do,” Regulus managed. It was true, after all.

If it were humanly possible for someone’s face to split apart with a grin, Regulus was certain that Max’s would have done so in the moment. “Oh my _god_ , Reg, are you actually… expressing your feelings?”

“Don’t tell my mother,” he deadpanned. “She’ll be terribly disappointed.”

Max hugged him again. “This weekend is going to be _great!_ We’ve got _hours_ before we have to be at shul, so what do you want to do? Chess is sort of a two-player game, but we can go to the seaside, or try to cook something, or see if my dad needs help with anything…”

* * *

They’d decided, in the end, to go to the seaside. Regulus felt foolish admitting that he hadn’t packed swim trunks, but Max assured him that it was no trouble letting him borrow a pair of his. So they went – it wasn’t a very long walk, all things considered, and the day wasn’t too warm that the walk was uncomfortable.

Max talked the entire time there, and Regulus was struck by how much he’d _missed_ him. It had only been two weeks, and he’d had Sirius, of course, and he’d even gone out for ice cream with Isaac once, but it wasn’t the same as spending all day with Max.

“I’ve always liked going to the seaside,” Max was saying. “It’s one of the things I miss while at Hogwarts.”

Regulus couldn’t honestly say he missed anything about home while at Hogwarts. Kreacher, maybe, but even then… he really didn’t think about Kreacher too much while at school.

“The seaside, Mum and Dad’s cooking, the Kneazles – course, I love Thalia, too, but there’s something to laying on the sofa to read a book and having four Kneazles come to lay on you. And I miss Mum and Dad and Jacob and Shira and Gina. But – when I’m _home_ , I miss Ravenclaw tower and both of _you_ , and House Elves cleaning up my room…”

“I’m surprised the House Elves weren’t number one,” Isaac said.

“I don’t mind if my room’s a little messy,” Max said. “I _do_ mind that my two best friends live in _London_ and almost never get to see me over the summer.”

“Is that it, over there?” Regulus asked, grateful for the distraction. He didn’t want to think about how miserable Grimmauld Place was when he was here with Max and Isaac. He’d have plenty of time to soak in the misery of his home life when his friends _weren’t_ right next to him.

“Yes, perfect!” Max said. “I don’t know about you, but _I’m_ going swimming!”

“I can’t swim,” Regulus said.

Max looked at him as if he had two heads. “You can’t _swim_?”

Regulus shrugged. “I’ve lived in London my whole life, so there’s never been any _point_.”

“I’m teaching you,” Max said. He looked to Isaac. “That’s a mitzvah, right?”

Isaac shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe?”

“Good enough!” Max grabbed Regulus by the hand and dragged him down to the water, leaving their towels and blanket by Isaac’s feet.

“Make sure the water’s calm, first!” Isaac called after them.

“Thanks, Mum!”

Regulus didn’t have to look back to know that Isaac was scowling and likely grumbling to himself.

“Honestly,” Max whispered as they approached the water. “He’s acts like he’s our mum, and he’s so _serious_ all the time. But okay… so the water’s all really calm over here, so we can just wade in.”

Max held him tight by the hand, but Regulus still felt nervous as they waded in to their waists. He’d never felt comfortable around water. Max seemed to catch onto this, because he smiled at him. “Trust me. You’ll be fine. I won’t let go of you until you tell me to.”

His words were reassuring, and Regulus felt some of his tension slip away. “Okay.”

“We shouldn’t go much farther out at first,” Max said. “Just to be safe.” He took Regulus’s other hand in his. “Okay, so first we’re going to try floating, and I’m going to be holding on to you. Let me know if you want to stop, yeah?”

Regulus nodded. “Yeah.”

* * *

They made it back to the Scamander home a good hour before sunset. Mrs. Scamander took one look at them and shook her head. “I suppose there’s nothing we can do about your hair before Shabbos…” She reached out to touch Max’s hair, which had dried absolutely wild and messy. “You’re getting a shower after services.”

“ _Mum,”_ Max whined. “But my friends are here!”

“I’m not having you go up tomorrow morning looking like that. Now upstairs and go get changed.”

Max huffed. “ _Fine_.”

Regulus, for his part, couldn’t imagine acting in such a way in front of his own parents, but then… he’d already known that the Scamanders were different from the Blacks. “Should we, er…”

Mrs. Scamander smiled at him. “Yes, best go get dressed. It is a _Wizarding_ synagogue, but it’s not too formal. I’m sure Max can loan you something if all you’ve packed are formal dress robes.”

Regulus thought of the robes he’d packed. “That… might be a good idea.”

“I don’t think the Blacks _do_ casual,” Max said. He grabbed Regulus’s hand, and started dragging him up the stairs. “Come on, I’ve got just the thing!”

“I’ll just stay here, then!” Isaac called.

* * *

The robes Max had lent Regulus actually seemed to fit perfectly. They weren’t custom tailored for him, of course, and they were from Madame Malkin’s and not Twillfit and Tattings, but that considered… they fit very well.

Isaac had already deposited his things in the guest room, so Max shut the door behind them and went to his wardrobe. “This is what I’m wearing tomorrow,” he said, indicating a set of dark blue robes. “But let me see…”

Regulus noticed how freckled Max’s back was. It wasn’t often that he saw Max undressed, and while he was still wearing nothing but swimming trunks… Regulus realised that he was staring. He sat down on Max’s bed. “I’m sure anything will be fine. I’ll already stand out.”

“So will Isaac,” Max said. “We don’t use much Hebrew, and our prayers are a lot shorter, so he’ll be more than a little lost.” He seemed to find a set of robes he thought would work, because he tossed them to Regulus (who only just managed to catch them) before shucking off his swim trunks and putting on pants and robes.

Regulus changed into the robes Max had loaned him. They were a light blue, and just the right length.

“How do I look?” Max asked. “Because the rabbi’s gonna talk about my Bar Mitzvah, and I can’t look _too_ bad – Mum is right about that.”

Regulus looked Max over. His hair was still a complete mess, but the robes (a deep purple) suited him, and Regulus wasn’t sure why, but his throat suddenly felt tight. “You look great,” he managed.

Max grinned. “Brilliant! Now… we probably should go downstairs.” He took Regulus by the hand and led him back down to the living room.

* * *

If Regulus were honest, he had absolutely no idea what to expect at the synagogue. He knew he didn’t really have to go for the Friday night service – certainly neither the Scamanders nor Isaac would begrudge him if he elected to stay in the guest room with a book – but he had to admit that he was curious.

“My parents and I have got to go up,” Max said to Regulus and Isaac (although Regulus felt it was mostly for his sake), “but you two can sit together.”

“Sure,” Isaac said. He turned to Regulus. “It’s probably best if we sit toward the back.”

Regulus followed him and sat down next to him. He felt awkward and out of place, but at least Isaac was there with him. Even if he was fairly certain Max had been exaggerating about Isaac being just as lost as he’d be.

Isaac handed him a relatively thin book. “It’s read right to left,” he said. “But Max is right – I’ll be a bit lost, too. This is almost all in English.” He flipped through the book, stopping to look at certain pages. “It looks like everything that isn’t in English is transliterated. But you haven’t got to – read anything. Some of the prayers you _shouldn’t_ say, actually, since you’re not Jewish. But it might help to be able to follow along.”

“Thanks,” Regulus said.

“No wonder Max wasn’t concerned about his bar mitzvah, really,” Isaac said. _“Everything’s_ in English.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus, Max, and Isaac play a game of Truth or Dare

Three hours later, Regulus sat with Isaac and a freshly-showered Max on Max’s bed. 

“So,” Max said. “What should we do? We’ve got all night.”

“We haven’t got all night,” Isaac said. “You’ve got to be at shul tomorrow morning.”

Max ignored him. “We should play truth or dare!”

“Absolutely not,” Isaac said without even pausing to think. 

“Don’t you trust me?” Max asked.

“No,” Isaac said. “Not with that.”

Max turned to Regulus and pouted. “Reg, come on; tell Isaac what a good idea it is.”

“I don’t even know what it is,” Regulus said, which, judging by Isaac’s expression, was entirely the wrong thing to say.

“Then we  _ have _ to play!”

Isaac tried to stare Max down, but surely he knew by now that such a thing would never work. Between Isaac’s stubbornness and Max’s… well, entire self, really, Regulus knew this could go on all night. So he did the only thing he could think of in the situation, and said, “Maybe if we set some ground rules?”

“You can’t veto any of them,” Isaac said, still staring Max down.

Max heaved a dramatic sigh and leaned to rest his entire weight on Regulus’s shoulder.  _ “Fine. _ If you must.”

“First off, no magic,” Isaac said.

“Obviously,” Max said. “We’re not at school, and my parents  _ do _ abide by the no magic outside of school rule.”

“Good,” Isaac said, although Regulus didn’t know that Max was any less dangerous without magic. “And no dangerous dares. Nothing that involves leaving this room or heights or – anything like that.”

Max sighed and buried a hand in Regulus’s hair. “I  _ guess.” _

“And if we don’t want to – tell whatever truth it is, or do whatever dare, then we get to switch.”

“That’s a standard rule, Isaac.”

“Forgive me,” Isaac said. “You and Miri blew it off last time.” He stopped and glanced at Regulus, like he’d just made some grave error by admitting that he and Max saw each other without Regulus there. Especially since Isaac’s sister’s involvement likely meant that they’d been in London.

It did make him feel a bit lonely to think about, but he certainly didn’t blame his  _ friends _ for it. Regulus shrugged. “We all know my mother never would have let me. I don’t know what they’re doing this weekend, truthfully, because Sirius isn’t there either.” He had his ideas, and none of them were good, at all. “But I’m here now. So how do we play this game?”

“So!” Max said, “It’s fairly straightforward, really. It’s truth or dare, so we go around in a circle and ask each other questions, or dare each other to do things. Like Isaac said, if we don’t want to answer a question, then we can pick dare after the question’s been asked, but then we  _ have to  _ do the dare. Or the other way round, too. But also don’t ask obvious questions like, I dunno, what’s your House at school, you know?”

Regulus thought it seemed simple enough, and he could always avoid a question if he didn’t want to answer. “All right.”

“I’ll go first, shall I?” Max asked. He was still leaning on Regulus, and from this position, Regulus couldn’t quite see his expression, but Isaac looked rather pale. “Isaac…”

“Oh, god,” Isaac said.

“Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” Isaac said without thinking.

“All right,” Max said, and Regulus could  _ hear _ the grin in his voice. “I dare you to take some parchment – in this room – and my owl – also in this room – and write a letter to the person you fancy.”

“I’m not doing that,” Isaac said, crossing his arms.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m  _ absolutely _ sure.”

“All right,” Max said. “Then… were you really all that bothered by Sirius annoying us for half the year?”

Isaac’s gaze flitted to Regulus, who said, “It’s all right; he’s my brother, so either way, I understand.”

“Come on, Isaac,” Max said.

Isaac took a deep breath, and Regulus wondered how badly he was regretting not writing Emmeline that letter. “Perhaps I exaggerated a bit,” he said. “He was… surprisingly all right to be around, for a Gryffindor.”

“You didn’t think he was fit?” Max asked.

“What kind of question is that?” Isaac asked. “Besides, it’s  _ one _ question. And now it’s my turn to ask  _ you _ a question, Max.”

“No,” Max said. “You ask Reg, and then Reg asks me. That’s how it goes.”

Isaac rolled his eyes and turned to Regulus. “Truth or dare?”

Regulus considered it. He didn’t think Isaac would ask anything overly invasive, but he had no idea what he’d pick for a dare. “Truth.”

“What was your Sorting like?”

“What do you mean by that?” Regulus asked.

“I mean – it took a few minutes, it seemed. Did you – argue with it? Or did it deliberate?” He worried a bit at his lower lip, as if he were concerned the question was too invasive. “Trust me; there’s no doubt in my mind that you’re a perfect fit for Ravenclaw, but… it  _ was _ odd.”

Max sat up and turned to Regulus. “You haven’t got to answer if you don’t want to.”

“You  _ can _ take a dare, sure,” Isaac agreed.

“It’s fine,” Regulus said. “Really. There’s just not much to it. I always thought Slytherin was a sure thing – in my family, why wouldn’t I? – even after Sirius was sorted, because, well, you know him and how he is. I always got on best with Narcissa, who swears her Sorting took all of three seconds, and cleverness and cunning have got a lot in common, if you think about it. So, I went in thinking my Sorting would take just a few seconds, I’d go right to Slytherin, and live up to my family’s expectations.”

“So – what happened?” Max asked. “Because I thought I was going to be a Hufflepuff, you know, and I told the Hat as much, but it insisted that Ravenclaw was best, which is – you know, completely right, because I’m definitely not hardworking or patient, and I definitely think I do put – learning above almost everything.”

Regulus shrugged. “As I recall,” he said, as if the entire thing wasn’t burned into his memory, “it started off telling me that it had had nothing but problems with Blacks lately, that we were meant to break tradition, so I panicked, of course, thinking it had me set for Gryffindor.  I’m not a Gryffindor in the least, as you both know, and the Hat agreed, and then it went on about how Ravenclaw was best – and I’m the first in my entire family history to be in Ravenclaw. I tried to push for Slytherin, but it said that Ravenclaw was really the only choice. And then – it shouted it to the entire Great Hall.”

“It didn’t let you argue with it?” Isaac asked.

“It said the very fact that I was arguing with it and trying to poke holes in its argument meant that I couldn’t be anything but a Ravenclaw. But then I went to Ravenclaw table and met you two, and you know how it went from there.”

“Your brother pulled you out of the Great Hall first,” Max said, “I saw him.”

“Yeah; he wasn’t happy about it. But can you imagine where I’d be if I  _ had _ been in Slytherin?” He wouldn’t have had Max or Isaac, that was for sure, and Sirius would likely not be nearly as friendly with him, and Lily never would have agreed to tutor him. He’d likely be spending his time with the very people who now sought to make his life miserable.

“I, for one, am absolutely delighted that you’re in Ravenclaw with us,” Max said. “And between us, I think Isaac’s warmed up to you.”

“I had no way of knowing if you wanted – people like my  _ mum _ dead!” Isaac said. “Forgive me for being cautious!”

“Max is just teasing,” Regulus said. “And – anyway, I think it’s my turn to ask Max a question.”

“Truth,” Max said.

“You didn’t even let me ask.”

“Well, I pick truth. I know your brother, Reg. It’s not like I think you’re incapable of coming up with a fantastic dare even confined to this room.”

Isaac rolled his eyes, but Regulus stopped to think. “All right.” What could he ask Max? The questions were meant to be – personal; that much he’d gathered. But Max was always so open about everything. He tried to think of something that he  _ didn’t _ already know about Max. He couldn’t think of anything, so he tried, “What’s something you’ve never told anyone?”

_ “Anyone?” _ Max repeated. “Does this include my parents?”

“All your family, and us. And strangers, too.”

Max hummed. “That’s a tough one,” he said. 

“Is it?” Isaac asked, in a tone that implied he knew more than he was letting on.

“Yes,” Max said, “it is! Something I’ve never told  _ anyone? _ You both know how much I talk!”

“That’s why I asked,” Regulus said.

“Until I was nine or so, I thought that my Uncle Theseus wasn’t my real uncle, because he’s a goy, and my dad’s, well – not. But that doesn’t count, because I asked my dad about it. I’d just thought he’d married my dad’s best friend.” Max rested his head on Regulus’s shoulder and hummed. 

“Is there anyone you fancy, maybe?” Isaac asked. “Or used to?”

“My parents and Jacob and Shira know about everyone I’ve ever fancied,” Max said.

_ “Everyone?” _ Isaac asked.

“Yeah,” Max said. He hummed again. “I suppose… well, I did write an embarrassing fan letter to Cassius Warbeck.”

“Did he reply?” Regulus asked.

“Yeah,” Max said. “But it took me a few weeks to get the nerve to open it. He was nice.”

“What was in the letter?” Isaac asked.

“Well, I  _ did _ tell Cassius Warbeck what was in the letter, by writing it to him, so technically, I’ve already told someone. Now – I think it’s my turn to ask.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cassius Warbeck is not a real person in the Harry Potter series, but rather a fictional author I made up who writes political satirical dramas that poke fun at the Pureblood elite and specific things that are actually happening in Pureblood society. It's a nom de plume, but no one knows who he really is.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus goes to Max's bar mitzvah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot in this chapter, but it's highkey one of my favourites so far

They all had to get up early in the morning to get to the synagogue in time. Regulus wore the dress robes he’d packed, which were, perhaps, a bit too formal given what he’d seen last night, but no one said anything. 

He followed Isaac’s lead, which, as it turned out, meant perusing the synagogue’s library while Max and his parents talked with the rabbi. Isaac had said they had about half an hour before people started showing up, and so Regulus was surprised when he looked up from a book to see Emmeline and Dirk. Emmeline wore dress robes, and Dirk wore a Muggle suit and tie.

“I had a feeling we’d find you here,” Emmeline said.

“Has Jacob come already?” Isaac asked.

“Max’s whole family’s already here – even his uncle.”

“Oh,” Isaac said. He closed his book and went to put it back on the shelf. “We might as well go out there and say hello.”

Regulus did the same, and the four of them left the library as a group. With Emmeline and Dirk, he felt less obviously out of place. Neither of them were Jewish, he was sure, and Regulus thought he might even have  _ more _ of a clue of what was going on, because neither Emmeline nor Dirk had been at Isaac’s bar mitzvah last December.

Isaac seemed to find Jacob and Shira more quickly than Regulus had thought possible. They were talking to an older couple, who looked to be about the same age as Max’s parents. Max’s niece, Regina, stood between her parents.

“Jacob, Shira – Mr. and Mrs. Scamander, hello!” Isaac greeted.

Regulus glanced at Emmeline and Dirk, who seemed to think it was strange, too. Good. At least he wasn’t the only one.

“Isaac, how good to see you!” Jacob said, and Isaac seemed to preen a bit at that. Jacob turned, then, to Regulus. “And Regulus; it’s great to see you again, too. Who are your friends? I don’t think we’ve met.”

“This is Emmeline, and this is Dirk,” Regulus said. “They’re our friends from school.” At least, he rather thought they might be. Either way, neither of them protested.

“It’s wonderful to meet you,” Jacob said, extending a hand for them each to shake in turn. “I’m Jacob Scamander – Max’s brother – and this is my wife, Shira, and our daughter, Regina, and my Uncle Theseus and Aunt Leta.”

So the woman was Leta Lestrange. She was looking at him curiously.

“I’m Regulus Black,” Regulus said to Theseus and Leta. “I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.”

“No,” Leta Lestrange said. “I’m Leta Scamander. I actually – I think I went to school with your grandfather. I was in Slytherin, you see.”

“All of my grandparents were in Slytherin,” Regulus said. “If you’re about the same age as Mr. Scamander – Max’s dad, I mean – then that would… make sense.”

“Are you Arcturus or Pollux’s grandson?” Leta asked, and Regulus wished she hadn’t, because now he had to go out and say it.

“Both. Arcturus is my paternal grandfather, and Pollux is my maternal grandfather.”

_ “Please _ tell me they weren’t brothers,” Isaac said.

“They weren’t,” Regulus said. “We’re not  _ so _ inbred as all that.” They had been first cousins, though, which wasn’t  _ much _ better.

“I was a few years above them in school. Theseus, I think, knew Belvina, but she went and married Burke.”

“I barely knew her,” Theseus said. “She was Slytherin prefect, and two years above me.”

“I never knew her,” Regulus said, although he’d certainly known of her. He’d had to. “I really hope she didn’t give you any trouble. Or – my grandfathers, with you, Mrs. Scamander.”

Leta actually  _ laughed. _ “I think, with a Scamander as your best friend, I can tell you that I used to hex them. They’d antagonize me, really.”

That certainly explained why his parents hadn’t been impressed when he’d brought up Max’s relation to Leta Lestrange, because otherwise – there was certainly nothing in that which would lower his parents’ opinion. 

“I can believe that,” Regulus said. “You were best friends with Max’s dad in school, weren’t you? Max has mentioned you.”

“I was,” Leta agreed. “Newt has never paid much mind to House or what family one comes from.”

“Certainly not,” agreed Theseus.

“Oh, god,” Isaac said. “You don’t think he’s invited the Potters, do you?”

“The – the Potters?” Regulus asked. 

“They’re old family friends, and they live a few miles down the road from my parents,” Jacob said, “Max and Isaac used to have lessons with their son.”

Regulus wondered why neither Max nor Isaac had said as much, and resolved to ask them later. “Hopefully, if they  _ were _ invited, Sirius spending the weekend at their house means that James Potter stayed home.”

“You really think Sirius wouldn’t crash  _ Newt Scamander’s _ son’s bar mitzvah? Just because he could?” Isaac asked.

“My parents knew exactly where I was going, and they let me, so I think that he’d know it’d bother them more if he went into the Muggle village that’s apparently nearby,” Regulus said. He’d rather see Sirius here than their parents, but that didn’t mean that he  _ wanted _ to see Sirius at the moment.

Isaac opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by a girl with dark, curly hair and dark brown eyes. Regulus recognized her after a second as Isaac’s younger sister, Miriam.

“Isaac, Mum wants you to sit with us!”

“I’m sitting with my friends, Miri,” Isaac said.

“Then they can all sit with us,” Miri said.

Isaac looked to Regulus, Emmeline, and Dirk, “Do you mind?”

“I like your parents,” Regulus said. He’d only met them a few times, but they’d always been very nice to him.

* * *

He sat between Isaac and Emmeline during the service, and the four of them walked together to the social hall afterward. Isaac had already put his prayer shawl in a bag and handed it over to his mother for safekeeping.

There was lunch laid out, but there really weren’t nearly as many people here as there had been at Isaac’s bar mitzvah. Part of it, Regulus knew, was that Isaac had a much larger extended family than Max, and that his actual synagogue was bigger (at least according to Max and Isaac both). Regulus wasn’t sure why, but he’d expected more people to show up today, considering who Max’s parents were.

But then the Scamanders had never particularly seemed to be the sort of people to make their son’s coming of age ceremony into a public affair. For the briefest moment, Regulus envied Max that. He was sure that, if Pureblood society had an equivalent, his parents would invite the press as well as everyone they knew.

He picked up a biscuit idly and nearly dropped it when Max hugged him. “I am  _ so relieved _ that’s over!” he said. “Now I’ve just got to gracefully accept congratulations from everyone I’ve ever met.”

“I thought you  _ liked _ talking to people?” Regulus asked. In the public space, he was well aware of Max’s arms still around him.

“I do,” Max said, “but I also  _ rarely _ get to see you, and would rather spend time with all of my friends.” He rested his chin on Regulus’s shoulder. 

“Think of it this way,” Regulus tried. He saw Isaac raise an eyebrow at them. “The sooner you accept everyone’s congratulations, the sooner you can spend time with us.”

Max heaved a dramatic sigh. “You drive a hard bargain, Reg. But for you – I’ll do it.” He let go of him and stepped back. “Did you see my tallis?”

“How could I have missed it?” Regulus asked. Ravenclaw blue and bronze with little embroidered eagles on the squares on the corners. “It’s perfect for you.”

“Isn’t it?” Max asked with a grin. “Can’t wait to hear Isaac’s opinion.”

“He loves you,” Regulus said. “And he knows as well as I do that what suits  _ him _ doesn’t typically suit you.”

Max hummed. “That’s probably true.” He glanced over to the side. “The Potters are looking this way – probably worried that Sirius and James have ruined their entire estate while they’ve been here.”

“I wouldn’t put it past them,” Regulus said.

Max laughed. “Neither would I. I should go say hello so they can get home before the estate is  _ completely _ burnt to the ground.”

* * *

Max flopped on his bed. “I'm  _ exhausted _ ,” he said. 

Regulus sat down next to him. “We can just hang around the house,” he said. 

“See,  _ this _ is why I love you, Reg,” Max said, and Regulus felt himself blush although he couldn't imagine why. “You always seem to know just what I want to do.”

Regulus laid down, and Max moved in to curl up close next to him. Regulus started carding his fingers through Max’s hair, and Max hummed. He loved how coarse Max’s hair was, which struck him as a rather odd thought, but it wasn’t as if anyone would know.

Max shifted so that his head rested on Regulus’s chest. Regulus felt strangely warm at the closeness, and wished that he didn’t have to go home the next day. 

He wasn’t sure quite when he drifted off (they should have gotten more sleep the night before), but he jerked awake at the knock at the door. “Boys! Jacob is leaving!” Newt called through the door.

It was still light outside, at least. They hadn’t wasted the whole day (and, somehow, Regulus thought, with Max asleep on him like this, it wouldn’t quite count as a wasted day).

Max buried his face in Regulus’s chest. “Don’t want to get up,” he mumbled.

“You should say goodbye to your brother,” Regulus said, stroking his hair.

Max sighed. “I suppose…” He made an adorable little noise and rolled off of Regulus, onto his back. “I’ll never get up if I’m cuddled up close to you.”

Regulus realised, then, that he had a bit of a situation. He felt himself blush, and hoped that Max didn’t notice as he tried to subtly adjust himself.

“Oh,” Max said, “don’t worry about that. Happens to me all the time when I sleep, too. Dad says it’s a totally normal part of puberty.”

He didn’t know how to tell Max that this was maybe the fifth time this had ever happened, and the first around other people. So he nodded.

“I’m going to go say goodbye to Jacob. You can stay here if you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> certain characters in FB2 didn't die because that was a bad executive decision.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus goes back to Hogwarts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some mentions of child abuse in this chapter, but no actual depictions

Regulus found Max and Isaac quickly once he boarded the Hogwarts Express, and the three of them found a compartment without much trouble. It was easy to fall back in with them as if nothing had happened since Max’s bar mitzvah. After all, Regulus was getting good marks, he’d made the Quidditch team and won the Quidditch cup. He never saw his father, and his mother took out most of her aggression in screaming matches with Sirius.

Regulus had become accustomed to the lack of special treatment that he’d previously enjoyed, most notably in the year before he went to Hogwarts. Ravenclaw was still a disappointment, and his refusal to shake his friends for someone who could trace both sides of their family back to the Middle Ages had only added to his parents’ frustration.

His mother had even told him, that summer, that at least Sirius had had the sense to have _one_ friend who was a Pureblood.

Their mother’s latest game, this summer, had been to try to convince Regulus and Sirius that both secretly hated the other and were working against each other. It hadn’t worked, and Regulus had bemoaned one night to Sirius as they lay in his bed looking at those _ostentatious_ pictures of Muggle bikini girls (whom he supposed he should feel _something_ for, some sort of primal stirring, but who, in reality, just made him wonder idly why Muggles even _wanted_ pictures that stayed still like that), grateful for the brief peace, that he couldn’t imagine _any_ of his friends’ parents doing the same. He’d actually seen Isaac’s mother intervene in an argument he’d been having with his sister and put a stop to it the afternoon of Max’s bar mitzvah.

“Yeah,” Sirius had said with a laugh that wasn’t really a laugh. “All my friends are only children, but… I can’t imagine Hope Lupin or _either_ of the Potters trying to convince their kids that _anyone_ hates them.”

Neither of them wanted to put a _name_ to it, because that would give it a gravity neither of them felt it deserved, but both of them knew by now that this was far from normal. That when normal families had disagreements and issues, they didn’t escalate to screaming and jinxes and hexes (because Regulus knew it _had_ escalated to jinxes and hexes where Sirius was concerned, and wondered how much longer it would be before it happened to him, too, or before their mother escalated it to _curses_ ). That normal families didn’t cut off relatives who’d displeased them. That normal families didn’t start planning their sons’ weddings to girls they’d never even met long before they’d even gotten to Hogwarts.

And so Regulus was nothing short of elated to see his friends, to delve back into normality and go to back to a place where he could actually feel at peace for more than just a few minutes or hours.

Isaac’s sister Miri came in to sit with them, and Regulus supposed it _was_ time for her to go to Hogwarts. He liked Miri. She was a sweet, bright girl who seemed to always want to talk to him (and, except for Max, very few people _always_ wanted to talk to him). Her dark, curly hair was styled into two charming pigtails, and she swung her legs as she looked around.

“What House are you hoping for, Miri?” Regulus asked.

“Ravenclaw, of course,” she said, as though it were obvious. “My whole family’s been.”

“There’s nothing wrong with breaking tradition,” Max said. “Take it from me and Reg. I’m not hardworking enough for Hufflepuff, and he’s not…. well, I’m not sure what he’s lacking for Slytherin, to be honest.”

“The hat,” Regulus said stiffly, “rather thought my natural proclivities lent themselves toward learning and knowledge, rather than ambition. It wasn’t a lack of cunning – cleverness is often more of the same, anyway, in the right people – merely an overabundance of studiousness.” He did not say that he’d argued for Slytherin with a feeling of deep dread and panic that had _vanished_ at the declaration of _RAVENCLAW!_ to the entire Great Hall, or the echoing silence that had followed. He was, two years later, glad to be with Max and Isaac, glad for the continued closeness with his brother, glad to be across the castle and in a tower away from Barty Crouch in the Slytherin dungeon common room.

“I don’t think a Black had _ever_ been in Ravenclaw before,” Isaac said.

“I am decidedly the first,” Regulus agreed. “But I’m not complaining, of course.”

“You look more dashing in blue and bronze than you would in green and silver, anyway,” Max said.

It was an innocent comment, offhand in the way that Max’s compliments often were – did he even realise they were compliments? – but it made Regulus’s insides do a strange twist that he wasn’t quite used to. Sirius had as good as said the same thing when Regulus had insisted upon donning his Ravenclaw Quidditch jumper on the way to King’s Cross, and all he’d felt at that was a sense of pride with only the slightest twinge of embarrassment. This was decidedly _not_ that, but Regulus refused to entertain the idea.

“Oh, I agree,” Miri said, in a tone which made Regulus uncomfortable. “Blue is your colour, and I think the silver would take away from your eyes.”

Isaac nudged his sister. “You’d better not have any machinations for _my_ friend,” he said. “You can make your own, in your year.”

“ _Regulus_ has a brother here, too.”

“I’m not friends with my brother’s friends,” Regulus said. “They’re in a different House, and… regardless, Lupin is the only one with any modicum of common sense. Potter comes up with half of their harebrained ideas, and Pettigrew goes along with everything obediently because he’s never learned how to cultivate a backbone.”

“They pretend at school like they hate each other,” Isaac offered.

“We do not,” Regulus said. “I’m simply not overly fond of my brother’s choice in friends.”

And speak of the devil. Sirius rapped at the compartment door. Regulus rolled his eyes, heaved a dramatic sigh, and opened the door with a flick of his wand. “Please don’t tell me you need to sit here for the entire train ride.”

Sirius grinned and flopped down easily on the bench across from Regulus. “Nah. Remus is reading, Peter’s eating, and James is currently trying to get Evans to talk to him, so I figured for the time being I should visit with my _darling_ little brother.” His gaze fell on Miri. “And who’s this?”

“I’m Miri Goldstein! Isaac’s sister!” she chirped. “And you’re Regulus’s brother, right? Sirius?”

From the look on Sirius’s face, Regulus was _never_ going to live this down. “That I am. His cooler, more handsome, much more exciting and _talented_ brother.”

“Ravenclaw’s Quidditch Cup last year would _seem_ to disagree on a few of those points,” Regulus said.

“Well,” Sirius said, “I’m cooler, because… you’re a _Ravenclaw_ , for Merlin’s sake, _and_ I’m more handsome, because.. look at me.”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “Whatever you need to tell yourself to get to sleep at night.”

“Girls _want_ me, Reg. They follow me around, like Crouch does you. Only they’re… girls, and they’re fit.”

“May I remind everyone,” Max said, “of the first year in the compartment? And I rather don’t think anyone needs to be bringing up Crouch already.”

“ _I_ think he fancies you, Reg,” Sirius said. “I mean, you’re not bad-looking, just not as devilishly handsome as _I_ am, and his obsession with you _does_ seem rather pathological.”

“I hope to Merlin that Crouch doesn’t fancy me,” Regulus grumbled. “If he does, he has a strange way of showing it.”

“Well, he _is_ part Black, isn’t he?” Sirius joked.

And, well, Regulus couldn’t quite disagree with that. He rather thought he and Narcissa had turned out okay, so far, and Sirius wasn’t _too_ bad, nor was Andromeda, but… with their parents, and Bellatrix… it wouldn’t be surprising if Barty’s madness _had_ come from Charis Black.

“You know,” said Max, reaching into his satchel, “my brother and sister-in-law got me these mad candies when they were in Japan this summer. Why don’t we try them?”

Five minutes later, after the Japanese candy had been distributed and eaten, Sirius continued, “I’m just saying… if he’s after you, it’s not like there hasn’t been worse incest on the Black family tree.”

“But _I’m_ not after _him_ ,” Regulus said. “Honestly, far as I’m concerned, both of the Crouches can drop of the face of the earth and I wouldn’t mind one bit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and with this, third year actually begins!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius ambushes Regulus in the library

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> or: in which Regulus continues to Miss The Point

“I think Goldstein’s sister has a thing for you,” Sirius said idly, appearing as if out of thin air in the library.

Regulus, far too used to his brother doing things like this to jump (he’d long suspected his brother had somehow got hold of an invisibility cloak, if he were honest), rolled his eyes. “And if she does? She’s a first-year.”

“Oh, I’m not suggesting you make a move on her,” Sirius said a bit too loudly for the library, throwing himself into the chair next to his brother. “It’s just that you can be fantastically dense when people have a thing for you, and I thought you should know before you accidentally do something stupid.”

“Her brother is one of my best friends,” Regulus said.

“Well, that,” Sirius said, “and the fact that you don’t like girls.”

“I like girls!” Regulus insisted, a bit louder than he’d intended. Really, where had Sirius gotten the absurd idea that Regulus _didn’t_ like girls? “Emmeline Vance and I get together to study Ancient Runes three times a week!”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “And you want to snog Vance, then?”

“Don’t be crass.”

“Fine,” Sirius said with a shrug. “But you need to get it through to Mini Goldstein that you’re not interested. I know you’re desperate for friends and bask in her admiration, but… perhaps gently set her right.”

“It’s _Miri_ ,” Regulus corrected. “And if she _does_ have a thing for me – which is absurd – surely she knows I’m too old for her.”

“I’m just saying,” Sirius said. “Between her, Scamander, and Crouch… sometimes I forget how alike we are.”

“ _Scamander_?” Regulus asked.

“Yes, Scamander. I dunno if he has a _thing_ for you, properly, but he definitely likes you more than he likes Goldstein… I’d say he admires you but that’s coming on a bit too weak.” Sirius grinned. “I get it; I relish in attention, too. Merlin knows we don’t get enough of it at home. At least not the positive kind.”

“Max doesn’t have a thing for me,” Regulus said. “Barty Crouch, maybe. But not Max.”

“Sure,” Sirius said easily in a way that grated on Regulus’s nerves. “My point is… I know you like the attention, but let _Miri_ Goldstein down gently, all right?”

“Fine,” Regulus said. “Now, will you let me get back to studying?”

“Of course.” Sirius ruffled his hair, and Regulus made a noise of protest. As Regulus tried to fix his hair, Sirius vanished into thin air again.

“You know, I know you think you’re being dramatic and mysterious, but you have to remember that I’m a Ravenclaw and I can put two and two together,” Regulus said.

“Oh bugger off,” came Sirius’s voice.

* * *

“Max?” Regulus asked when it was just the two of them. Isaac was in Muggle Studies, and they had a free period, so they were studying together in the library.

“Yeah?” Max looked up from his book, and Regulus felt suddenly struck by how blue his eyes were. Which was stupid, because he’d _always_ known that Max had blue eyes.

Regulus’s throat suddenly felt very dry. He thought that was strange, but instead of thinking too deeply about it, he conjured a glass of water and took a sip. “What, er… what do you do when… someone fancies you but you don’t… feel that way about them?”

“How d’you mean?” Max asked, voice strangely restrained.

“It's… a bit complicated, I suppose, but the short of it is that someone fancies me and I don't feel the same way, and it's… making things a bit awkward and I don't want to lead anyone on.”

“O-oh.” Max looked down at his book. “I, er, I think… honesty is the best policy, but I'd… think about how it'd feel if you were in their position.”

Regulus frowned. Max seemed awfully worked up about this. Had he recently been rejected? Or had he had to reject someone? Regulus couldn't fathom why anyone would reject _Max,_ but he could see Max having to do the rejecting, and he was far too kind for that, really.

“I mean,” Regulus said. “She's nice, and it's not that I dislike her, or anything, but she's far too young, and I'm not interested besides.”

“She?” Max asked, which Regulus thought was odd.

“Yeah, she. I'm not saying who, though. I'm protecting her privacy.” It was the least he could do.

Max seemed like a massive weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. “Reg, you're a good person. I think… as long as you're sensitive about it… you should be fine.”

* * *

Regulus didn’t have to look hard to find Miri alone. Sirius, Regulus realised, likely had a point in this. It was impossible to deny that Miri lit up when she saw him, and Regulus felt a flash of guilt. He knew, really, he had nothing to feel guilty for – Miri was too young for him, and her older brother was one of his best friends, and it wasn’t as if Regulus could actually _date_ a Jewish Half-Blood even if the first two points hadn’t been enough.

“Miri,” Regulus said, “could I… talk to you, for a moment?”

Miri beamed. “Oh, you never have to ask, Regulus,” she said. She followed him to a more secluded area of the library.

Yes, he definitely felt guilty. But Sirius had a point. He couldn’t let her go on thinking something might actually _happen_ between them. He wished, in the moment, that Max was there, even though having a third party would make things more awkward. He wasn’t half as charming as Max, half as good with words.

“I just – I want to make something… clear,” he started.

“I’m listening,” Miri said.

“And maybe I’ve misinterpreted, and if I have, please let me know, but… your brother is my best friend.”

“I thought _Max_ was your best friend,” Miri said.

“Max and Isaac are _both_ my best friends,” Regulus said. “And I’m… two years older than you.” This was not going as planned. “I… want to make it very clear that there can never be anything… more than friendship between us.”

“Oh,” Miri said. “Never? Because two years isn’t a big difference when you’re of age.”

Okay, so evidently he _did_ need to bring up his family. “I couldn’t do that to Isaac. And my parents have always been very insistent on me marrying a pureblood.”

“That’s stupid,” Miri said.

“Besides,” Regulus said, “I’m not Jewish, and I have absolutely no intention of ever _becoming_ Jewish.”

“Well,” Miri said. “That might be something there. I don’t think I could marry someone who isn’t Jewish.”

“I’d be happy to be your friend,” Regulus said. “But nothing more than that.”

Miri bit her lip and nodded. “Fine.”

“I wanted to – make sure I didn’t – lead you on, or anything.”

“I… appreciate that,” she said. “Excuse me; I should get back to my friends.”

He watched her go, and wished he could be certain that he’d made the right move. He knew, really, that it was best to prevent her thinking there might be something more, but if only it hadn’t left him feeling absolutely rotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regulus... really doesn't get it sometimes.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus spends some time with his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does have some references to _Maurice_ , so if you haven't looked up the plot yet, you might want to, just to understand what Isaac is getting at.

Regulus was studying with Emmeline Vance by the lake when he saw something strange: his brother talking to Bertram Aubrey, a Ravenclaw in the year above him. His brother’s annoying Gryffindor friends didn’t appear to be anywhere nearby.

“Merlin, tell me he’s not getting information on me,” Regulus muttered.

Emmeline followed his gaze and something in her expression changed. “I doubt you’ll have to worry about that,” she said.

“He’s a menace,” Regulus said. “And Aubrey’s a pompous arse.”

“So’s Sirius,” Emmeline said.

“That he is,” Regulus agreed. He knew better, really, than to get fixated on his brother. It rarely led to good things.

Still, his mind went to what his brother had said a few weeks prior:  _ you don’t like girls _ . He looked at Emmeline. He knew Isaac had been mad about her the previous year, and Regulus had to admit that she was pretty, with delicate features, wide brown eyes, and soft dark curls. He tried to imagine kissing her, but it didn’t feel right… and he didn’t think it was just because his friend had fancied her the year before (and probably fancied her still).

Perhaps, though, that was just because it was  _ Emmeline _ , and he knew for a fact that she was a Half-Blood. He didn’t  _ mind _ of course, but… perhaps he was only capable of being interested in  _ pureblood _ girls.

“You know,” Regulus said, trying to change the subject, “I still can’t believe that Max is taking Care of Magical Creatures instead.”

“Kettleburn’s tickled, though,” Emmeline said.

“His father wrote the textbook,” Regulus said. “I still have a signed advance copy of the latest revision Max gave me in first year.”

Emmeline laughed. “Maybe he wants the experience. The Scamanders have only got kneazles at home, right?”

“Because flobberworms are so much more interesting.”

“Touché.”

* * *

“Let’s go study outside,” Isaac suggested. It was a sunny autumn day, and they all knew they only had so long to enjoy it.

Max heaved a dramatic sigh and threw his entire weight onto Regulus’s lap. Regulus wasn’t sure why, but he had a sudden urge to touch him. So he did; Max was always physically affectionate with him, after all. He stroked Max’s hair, which was as coarse as ever. Max hummed contentedly and settled in.

“Or we could stay in the dorm all day,” Isaac said. “Again.”

“I’ll just get more freckles outside,” Max said. “Not all of us  _ tan _ , you know.”

“I like your freckles, though,” Regulus said without thinking.

Max blushed. “You… you do?”

“I, er, yeah, of course,” Regulus said. It was the truth, after all, and Max was always giving him all sorts of odd compliments. What was the harm in giving Max some of his own?

“We can… we can go outside,” Max said, “on the condition that I get to use your lap as a pillow, Reg.”

Regulus didn’t see any reason to refuse him that. “Yeah, sure,” he said, carding his fingers through Max’s hair. “Of course.”

* * *

Regulus had been looking forward to his first tutoring session with Lily more than he wanted to admit. She was a Gryffindor, and a Muggleborn besides, but… she was kind and clever and didn’t take  _ anyone’s _ shit.

He knew multiple boys in the school fancied her. Severus Snape and James Potter made spectacles of themselves wherever Lily Evans was concerned, and Regulus honestly found it sort of pathetic. He couldn't fathom why Snape had thought that  _ he _ fancied Lily. 

Regulus appreciated her wit and her talent for making Herbology interesting, but there was nothing about her — even if he could admit that she was pretty — that awakened any kind of urge in him. 

He realised, one afternoon in the greenhouses, that he viewed Lily in much the same way he'd always viewed his cousin Narcissa. He admired their strength and their skills, but he really didn't understand why all the other boys were so interested. 

* * *

It was a Tuesday night, and Regulus and his friends had managed to secure a sofa in the common room while they studied. Regulus sat between Isaac and Emmeline, and while he'd half expected Max to sit in his lap or squeeze in next to him, he was… somehow slightly disappointed when Max sat down on the floor in front of him instead. 

Max leaned against Regulus’s legs, and, without thinking, Regulus started stroking Max’s hair as he read. 

He didn't miss the sidelong glance Isaac gave him, but he didn't really think there was anything strange in what he and Max were doing. They were best friends, after all, and Isaac wasn't a very touchy person. He wouldn't understand, really. 

“This reminds me of a book,” Max said after about twenty minutes of this. 

“When are you ever  _ not _ reminded of a book?” Isaac asked. 

“Which book?” Emmeline asked. 

Max flushed slightly in the firelight. “I, er, it's a Muggle book I read this summer. Came out a few years ago. Doubt any of you would have read it.”

Isaac looked as if he saw right through that. “Was that that Forster novel you were going on about?”

Max cleared his throat. “Yes.”

“It was called  _ Maurice _ , wasn't it?”

“It was,” Max said. 

“Then it would have been,” began Isaac, “that scene between Clive and Maurice in the residence hall.”

Regulus wasn't really following the discussion. He shot a look to Emmeline, who looked as lost as he felt. 

“Just… certain elements,” Max said. “Not the whole thing, obviously.”

“Max,” Isaac began. “You know we all love you.” Regulus couldn’t think what that had to do with a  _ book _ , but it was true.

“I know,” Max said. “You're my friends. And it was just a passing thought, anyway. I'm nowhere near as much of a pretentious arse as Clive is, and Reg is far cleverer than Maurice, and neither of us hate women.”

Regulus wondered just what sort of book this was, but he didn't ask. Instead, he asked, “Have any of you preordered Cassius Warbeck’s latest?”

“Oh, he's so prolific,” Emmeline said. “How does he put out a completely new novel every year?”

“Must have too much time on his hands,” Isaac said. 

“It wouldn't surprise me,” Regulus said, “with some of the things in those books, if the author were a member of the pureblood elite.”

“Even though it's all a scathing condemnation of everything families like yours stand for?” Isaac asked. 

“In my family alone, there's three of us who I know for a fact don't agree with all that purist bollocks.” Well, Andromeda wasn’t  _ family _ anymore, not really, but surely she counted in this.

“But,” Isaac said, “you still expect to marry a pureblood witch?”

The idea, once neutral, now was tinged with more than a bit of anxiety and dread. “I might not agree with their politics, but I've a duty to continue the family line. There's a way to disagree without being a full blood traitor.” He just wasn't sure how. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may seem like a filler, but it'll all come together.  
> Several people have asked about additional works featuring the OCs in this work, or Max and Regulus together specifically, so I've compiled a masterpost [here](https://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/post/182839827031/ravenclaw-au-oc-masterpost) (spoilers for Ravenclaw AU though!).


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which there is an Incident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It all just sort of escalates from here tbh

Regulus wasn’t sure why Prewett was having the team train so much for the first match. It was just against  _ Hufflepuff_, and while Regulus didn’t necessarily have anything  _ against _ Hufflepuffs… their team was not known for its skill.

He said as much to Max one evening after practise as they lay together in Max’s bed listening to the wireless. Regulus was half-reclined, pillows behind him, and Max lay with his head in Regulus’s lap as Regulus idly carded his fingers through Max’s hair.

“But Slytherin and Gryffindor will both be watching the match,” Max said, which was true. 

“I  _ suppose_,” Regulus said. “I’d still rather take the extra time to be with you. A-and Isaac and Emmeline, of course.”

“She probably just wants to make sure we win the Cup this year. Gryffindor barely beat us out for the House Cup last year. If you get enough points in Quidditch, it could push us over the edge.”

Regulus hummed. It  _ would _ be excellent to be able to lord that over Sirius for a whole year. “You have a point.”

“I tend to,” Max said. He shifted and settled in, and Regulus was suddenly hyperaware of just where Max’s head was. He willed himself to think of something – anything – else, to no avail. Max, to Regulus’s eternal horror, asked in a strange voice. “Want me to move?”

And of course he’d noticed; how could he not have, when his head was  _ right there_? Regulus wanted to disappear.

“I-I’m sorry.” Max probably thought he was depraved, or something. This was the  _ second _ time this had happened.

Max sat up and scooted so that they were shoulder-to-shoulder. He smiled and kissed Regulus’s cheek. He’d never done that before, but Regulus had more pressing matters to consider than to think too much on it. “It’s fine.”

“No, it’s  _ not _ fine,” Regulus said. “You’re my friend, and this is the  _ second _ time this has happened, and I’m so embarrassed.”

“Reg,” Max said in a low, calming voice, “It _really_ _is_ fine. I’m not offended. We’re teenage _boys._ It happens, yeah?”

Regulus swallowed hard and nodded.

“Do you want… if you want to take care of it, I can just go hang around with Isaac in the common room.”

_ Take care of it _ . It wasn’t as if he hadn’t, before, but he’d never  _ discussed it _ with anyone. He felt like he was on fire, and he was aware that Max was looking at him. He expected an answer, Regulus realised.

“I, er…” Regulus said.

Max kissed his cheek again, and Regulus wished he couldn’t smell that batty flowery shampoo Max loved so much. “I’ll be downstairs, okay? Just come down whenever.”

* * *

There were no further Incidents before Christmas holidays, for which Regulus was eternally grateful. He’d felt awkward ever since that evening in Max’s bed, and for a while Regulus worried that this would set him off, like their argument the year before had. Max, though, seemed totally unaffected, and was just as friendly and affectionate with Regulus as ever. He didn’t even seem to hesitate to lay his head in Regulus’s lap. Nothing, it seemed, had changed at all.

The Goldsteins and Max celebrated Chanukah when it came in the beginning of December, and invited Regulus to celebrate along with them. He was more familiar with the holiday by now, and had carefully planned out and ordered gifts for them.

He’d bought them both sweets at Honeydukes – chocolate of all kinds for Max, and an assortment of treats for Isaac – and a bigger gift for each of them. He ordered Isaac the newest Cassius Warbeck novel, which had just come out a week prior and which he knew Isaac didn’t have yet. He struggled a bit on what to buy Max. He knew, really, that Max would graciously accept anything Regulus got him, but he wanted to get him something  _ special_.

He was running out of time, and he must’ve seemed visibly stressed as they all sat in the Three Broomsticks together with Emmeline and Dirk, because Max asked if he was okay.

“I’m fine,” Regulus said. “Having, er, some difficulty deciding on presents.”

Max grinned. “Oh, is that all? Well, you know me. Chocolate and more chocolate.”

Isaac rolled his eyes. “I think you’ll lose all of your teeth if you keep that up.”

“Do Wizards  _ have _ dentists?” Dirk asked.

“Dentists?” Regulus asked.

“No,” Isaac said. “Mum insisted my siblings and I go when we were little, though, but she’s a Muggleborn. It was miserable.”

“What’s a dentist?” Max asked.

“It’s a sort of doctor,” Dirk said, “only they only deal with teeth.”

“We have charms and potions to take care of that,” Regulus said.

“No television, no telephones, no records or films, and no dentists. And we’re meant to be the backwards ones,” Dirk said.

“We’ve a telephone,” Isaac said. “And a record player. But Mum says television is bad for you, and that we should read books instead.”

Max and Emmeline looked as clueless as Regulus felt, which was some small reassurance. This wasn’t  _ him _ being different, then. 

“Isaac,” Max began, “why are you even taking Muggle Studies if you understand everything Dirk’s saying? Because Emmeline and I are both Half-Bloods, too, and I think we’re as lost as Reg is.”

“We are,” Emmeline confirmed.

“I mean,” Regulus said, “my brother is  _ Sirius_. I know what a  _ record player _ is.” The rest of it, though, he had no clue about.

“Fantastic,” Max said. “So we’re  _ more _ lost than Regulus is.”

“Sirius said he enjoyed it,” Isaac said. “Muggle Studies, I mean.”

“Sirius is a pureblood who grew up with absolutely no knowledge of Muggle culture,” Regulus said.

Isaac shrugged. “I dunno. Didn’t much feel like any of the other options.”

* * *

Regulus managed to catch Emmeline alone the next day. “Hey, Emmeline, can I talk to you for a second?”

She smiled and nodded. “Sure. What’s up?”

“I’m… having trouble finding a gift for Max, and he celebrates  _ Chanukah, _ not Christmas, so I’m cutting it close. I’ve gotten something for Isaac, but every time I try to think of something for Max, it doesn’t seem like it’s enough.”

“Have you asked Isaac? He knows Max better than I do.”

“Isaac’s… been giving us all sorts of weird looks lately,” Regulus confessed. “And he gets all sorts of ideas in his head – like when he thought my brother was after Lily Evans. I don’t… want that to happen here.”

Emmeline furrowed her brows. “You think… if you ask Isaac for help, he’d think there’s something between you and Max?”

When she put it like that, it sounded overly dramatic and stupid. “Evan Rosier already thinks there is. It… I know Isaac knows us both well enough to know that’s not true, but… still…”

“I thought Rosier thought you were after Evans?”

Regulus shook his head. “Snape did. Rosier said I only pay attention to Half-Blood Ravenclaw boys.”

“Regulus,” Emmeline said slowly, “do… other people think this?

“What, that I’m a poof?”

“That you’re  _ gay_, yes,” Emmeline said.

Regulus knew the truthful answer would be yes. Besides Rosier, there was his brother, and Barty Crouch, and his Uncle Alphard had been acting strange, too, when he’d visited over the summer, and that wasn’t to mention Emmeline herself. “I don’t see what that has to do with anything,” he said. “I’m just trying to find a good gift for my best friend.”

He knew it was a weak excuse, and rather thought that Emmeline saw through it. “Max would go absolutely mad for something personal and thoughtful. A book might be a nice second option… but I think he’d prefer something personal.”

Personal… Regulus could do personal. “Great, thanks, Emmeline!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People who actually understand what's going on with Regulus: Isaac and Emmeline  
> Three guesses why Isaac actually took Muggle Studies.
> 
> * * *
> 
> I posted a canon-compliant fic featuring Isaac and Max, since a few people did say that they felt bad for Isaac in this fic, when it's really nothing compared to what he has to put up with in the canon HP universe. You can read it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17855024)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus celebrates Christmas (and Chanukah)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing update: I've finished fifth year (tentatively, anyway; still need to do a read-through and edit), and sixth year is _mostly_ done, and seventh year is plotted, so things are shaping up nicely!

On the first night of Chanukah, Regulus stood behind Max and Isaac while Miri lit the candles. It still seemed a bit foreign to Regulus, especially when they sang in Hebrew, but it was nice.

David had gotten the House Elves to make special food - potato pancakes with sour cream (Max complained that _he_ always had them with applesauce). As they ate in a quiet corner of the common room, they exchanged presents.

Max passed a small package to Regulus, “I know you celebrate Christmas, and not Chanukah, but I didn't want you to feel left out.”

“Max, you didn't have to get me anything…”

“I know I didn't _have_ to,” Max said. “But I wanted to. So go on. Open it.”

Regulus turned the gift over in his hands and opened it. It was a book, in German (which he was still expected to practise): _Jiddisch für deutschsprachige Studenten._ Yiddish for German-speaking students. All eyes were on Max, then, who dropped his gaze and shrugged.

“Jacob had some work in the Harz forest, and I asked him if he could see if he could find something like that. And he did.”

Regulus hugged him, and Isaac grumbled, “I _told_ you we don’t need to teach the goy Yiddish.”

“It’s only a matter of time before you lapse into Yiddish again, Isaac,” Max said, hugging Regulus back. “You always swear you won’t, but all it takes is seeing your grandparents.”

Regulus gave Max and Isaac their presents, then.

“The new Warbeck?” Isaac asked. “This _just_ came out!”

Regulus shrugged. “Max and I had both preordered it, so now we can discuss it with you after hols.”

“You’d better find time to read it all,” Max said. “We’re not going to avoid spoilers because you were too busy.”

“Like that’ll be an issue,” Isaac said.

“What’d you get me?” Max asked.

Isaac rolled his eyes, and Regulus couldn’t help but smile. “You can just open it, you know.”

“All right, all right,” Max said. He was practically rocking back and forth in excitement as he opened his gift. When he saw what Regulus had gotten him, he rushed to hug him. “Reg, this is _amazing!”_

He let go of Regulus and inspected the stuffed animal, which looked _startlingly_ like Thalia, and even had a tiny Ravenclaw scarf. The scarf had been meant for dolls for children, but it had been too perfect to pass up when Regulus had seen it in the catalogue.

“Thalia’s not going to know _what’s_ going on, you know,” Max said.

“Clearly that was my goal all along,” Regulus said with a grin.

“Clearly,” Max said. “I love it. It’s perfect. Thank you.”

“I can’t believe you bought him _another_ stuffed animal,” Isaac said. “We’re going to need to tell the House Elves to put another bed in the dormitory just for stuffed animals soon.”

Max laughed. “You’re just jealous that all you got was a book, Isaac.”

* * *

“How angry would your parents be if I sent you a Muggle book?” Isaac asked as they packed for holidays.

“ _My_ parents?” Regulus asked. “I think we all know the answer to that.”

Isaac pursed his lips. “That’s what I thought. No problem, then.” He reached inside his trunk and pulled out a wrapped package, which he handed to Regulus. “Here. Happy Christmas. You can keep it here, and find some way to disguise it before summer.”

Regulus looked from Isaac to Max, who shrugged. “I’m not sending you anything Muggle, so expect my present on Christmas day,” Max said.

Regulus sat down at the foot of his bed and opened Isaac’s present. It appeared, at first glance, to be a novel. The cover read _Maurice_. It sounded familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it.

Max shot Isaac some unreadable look. “Why’d you get him _that_ book?”

Isaac shrugged. “I read it on your recommendation over the summer, and I thought Regulus might enjoy it.”

“What,” Max asked, “about that book do you think _Regulus_ would enjoy?”

“It’s a love story,” Isaac said. “Not to give too much away. And it describes a very particular class and period. It’s set before the Great War.”

His friends were being stranger than usual, and Regulus made a note to reflect on that later. As it was, he put the book on his bedside table. “Thanks,” he said to Isaac. “I’ll read it when we get back from hols.”

* * *

Regulus went home for Christmas, and was promptly ignored by his parents. He supposed that was better than being harangued.

Sirius had come back as well, and Regulus couldn’t quite figure out why. He knew better than to linger on it, but decided that the following year, he’d see about staying at Hogwarts. He’d miss seeing Kreacher, of course, but… maybe the rest of it would be better. He’d have to ask McGonagall about Easter.

On Christmas day, Regulus opened his presents. His parents were less and less doting, but they’d still gotten him a new set of dress robes from Twillfit and Tattings (presumably for the New Years’ Eve party), with a new pair of shoes. It was a sparse Christmas, by his parents’ previous standards, but Regulus found he didn’t mind.

Sirius had gotten him a new broom servicing kit, which Regulus greatly appreciated. He was nearly out of broom polish, and had meant to pick some up in Diagon Alley before the end of holidays.

Despite having given him a gift during Chanukah, Max outdid himself for Christmas. He’d sent Regulus the typical assortment of novels, history books, and theory books, as well as a whole parcel of merchandise for the Tutshill Tornadoes: a scarf, gloves, a hat, a jumper, and a pin. Regulus honestly hadn’t thought that Max had been listening when he’d talked Quidditch with Isaac, but apparently, he’d been wrong. He only felt slightly disappointed that Max had completely trumped his own gift. It wasn’t really a contest, anyway.

Isaac, aware that Regulus’s mother checked his correspondence, sent him a bar of Honeydukes best chocolate and an apology that his proper gift hadn’t come in yet (although they both knew it was sitting on his bedside table in Ravenclaw Tower).

Uncle Alphard came over for Christmas as he always did, and surprised Regulus and Sirius both with box tickets to a Puddlemere United match on Boxing Day. Regulus wasn’t really a Puddlemere fan in any way, shape, or form, but he wasn’t about to turn down the chance to see a match live.

“Who’re they playing?” Sirius asked, grabbing for his ticket.

“Pride of Portree,” Alphard said.

“Really, Alphard,” Walburga said. “You should have _asked_ before wasting your money.”

“It’s not a waste of money,” Alphard said. “I’ve got plenty of it.”

What ensued was a staring contest between Regulus’s uncle and mother, which was only broken by his cousin Narcissa popping in through the Floo and marching straight over to hug Regulus. Lucius came in behind her, but made no rush to greet any of the Blacks.

“Regulus, darling! How have you been? Did you ever play that game of Gobstones with Evan?”

This was, apparently, just what his mother needed to hear. “Evan Rosier?” she asked.

“Yes, Evan Rosier,” Regulus said. “We’ve both been – busy, but we see plenty of each other in Slug Club. We both go to every meeting we can.” It was true enough, anyway. They _saw_ plenty of each other, even if they hardly spoke. “We’re in different years; it’s not as if we share any classes.”

Regulus’s mother looked from Regulus to Narcissa and hummed. “This is an improvement over last year, Regulus. Why didn’t you mention it?”

It wasn’t an improvement at all. “I’ve known Evan since we were children,” Regulus said. “I hardly thought my continued contact with him was newsworthy.” At least it was an excuse that would probably work.

His mother turned her gaze on Sirius then, who’d cleverly kept his mouth shut. Good. He knew as well as Regulus that everything he was saying was half-truths and technicalities, but he also knew as well as Regulus how much trouble he’d get in if he were found out. It wasn’t as if Evan would protest, if asked.

“You haven’t received any more detentions?”

Sirius shook his head, and Regulus had a feeling that _that_ was an outright lie.

“Very well,” his mother said. “Alphard, you may take them to that ridiculous game.”

“Thank you, Mum,” Regulus said, mostly because he thought that _someone_ should, and he knew it wasn’t going to be Sirius.

“Yes, well,” she said with a sniff. “Do try to take note of the techniques the _professionals_ use. We can’t have you losing to Hufflepuff.”

“Of course,” Regulus said.

“Before I forget,” Narcissa said. “I have a gift for you, Reggie, darling.” Narcissa produced an immaculately wrapped box which, with an approving nod from his mother, Regulus took (making sure to thank his cousin) and unwrapped. Narcissa had bought him an expensive calligraphy set, for which he was actually grateful. It featured quills from rare birds with gold nibs and a matching inkwell. He thanked her profusely, nodded politely to Lucius, and had Kreacher put the calligraphy set on his desk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> coming up next week is a one-shot about Max's winter holidays - and then the infamous Pureblood Society™ NYE party


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus goes to the New Years' Eve party at Malfoy Manor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to see what Max got up to during his holiday, read [Express in Words](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17973593). I recommend reading it before this.
> 
> This chapter has a lot packed into it.

Things were actually calm until the New Years’ Eve party, which, this year, was to be thrown at Malfoy manor. Regulus and Sirius both knew better than to trust the calm; they’d both learned long ago that a calm week meant that a disaster was fast approaching.

Regulus dressed the part of proper pureblood son, and even Sirius managed to put on something presentable, both of them feeling a sense of dread at the event and wishing they could be with their friends instead.

It wasn’t until they’d arrived that Regulus realised exactly _what_ was wrong.

There was an overabundance of young pureblood girls.

Regulus found himself introduced to no fewer than fifteen of them around his own age, all of whom were foreign, and he found himself compelled to practise his French and German. He handled them all politely and gracefully, but he felt a stirring of anxiety at the reality he was now faced with: his parents expected him to marry one of these girls.

Sirius held each girl in barely restrained contempt, and seemed to get more agitated with each new one, and refused to speak anything but English. Regulus caught him sneaking firewhisky but knew better than to tell anyone.

During a dance with a beautiful girl who studied at Beauxbâtons, he realised that he didn’t feel anything for these girls, pureblood or not. The girl he was dancing with pressed herself closer to him than was strictly necessary, and smiled charmingly, and kept up light conversation in French while they danced, and Regulus should have, by all accounts, been overcome with that same primal stirring that Isaac talked so frequently about. There was nothing _wrong_ with this girl, and she even seemed _smart_ , from what she was saying, and Regulus supposed if he had to marry a girl, maybe this one wouldn’t be a terrible choice.

If he had to marry a _girl_.

He pushed those feelings back deep inside him. It was his responsibility to carry on the Black family line, because Sirius _certainly_ wasn’t about to, and while he already intended on being a more magnanimous and tolerant head of the family than anyone in the family line, it was nevertheless a responsibility that he wasn’t about to shirk.

He had to marry a pureblood witch, and this girl hardly seemed like a terrible choice… even if he felt nothing with her. Even when she kissed him softly on the cheek in what was _certainly_ not la bise but may have looked that way to some onlookers. There was nothing.

Evan Rosier found him as he was catching his breath outside. Regulus didn't say anything as Evan sidled up next to him on the balcony.

“So,” Evan said.

Regulus didn't respond. He didn't trust himself to; his emotions were going wild, and all he wanted was to be back at Hogwarts with his friends.

“I'm not unsympathetic, you know,” Evan said. “I'm not Mulciber or Avery or, Merlin forbid, Crouch. You want a true psychopath? That's Crouch.”

Regulus realised he wasn't going to get bored and leave. “What do you want, Evan?”

“Scamander was right about my dad, but he's not unhappy, you know. He's not like your uncle. He doesn't let himself wallow in it.”

Regulus furrowed his brows. “What?”

Evan heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes. “I thought Ravenclaws were meant to be smart. Listen. My father, yeah? He's a flaming homosexual. But he's not unhappy married to a witch. You might not be either.”

It felt as if a ball of lead had dropped in Regulus’s stomach. “Evan, I've told you before. I'm not a poof.”

“You don't have to convince me. I'm not about to tell anyone. What would I gain from that?”

Regulus thought that Evan stood to gain rather a lot from outing him, or even just holding that information to himself – not that Regulus was gay. Because he wasn't. “I'm not.”

“Whatever you say,” Evan said. “Regardless, as long as you marry a girl from the Sacred Twenty-Eight, no one will care.”

Regulus realised that Evan intended this to be comforting somehow, when in reality it just made his stomach churn. He couldn’t _let_ himself think that way.

“We both know your brother won't carry on the family line. He's the same way, but he hasn't got your sense to stay in line.”

“What do you mean the same way?”

Evan rolled his eyes. “You really are dense. Your brother’s a total poof, too.”

“I – no, he's not. A-and I’m not, either.” Sirius wasn’t gay. Even if Max still thought he was. “Why – why do you think _he_ is?”

“Girls chase after him, but have you _ever_ seen him with a girl? Or the way he looks at that one Half-Blood ‘friend’ of his? What’s his name? The tall one, not the fat one.”

“Lupin?” Regulus asked.

“Yes, that’s the one,” Evan said. “It’s… kind of pathetic, really. Lupin’s not even _fit_ , and your brother is _hopeless_. The least he could do would be to moon over someone like Fenwick, if he _has_ to go for Half-Blood scum.”

Regulus was aware that his perception of normal interactions was tinged by the Blacks and the Scamanders (both very abnormal, on totally different ends of the spectrum), but he still rather didn’t think that other boys talked to boys about which older boys were fit.

“Before you ask,” Evan said, “because it’s not much of a secret – I’m not _not_ interested in wizards. That’s how I see through _you_ so easily. But I do like witches, too.” Evan looked at him with a piercing gaze that stirred something deep within Regulus in a way that _nothing_ related to girls ever had. “Shame you’re ‘not interested in wizards’,” he said. “Because you’re absolutely fit, and I can’t say I haven’t thought about it.”

“ _What_.”

Evan shrugged, an easy grin on his features. “I’m not delusional. I know my future is to marry a witch from the Sacred Twenty-Eight, but that doesn’t mean I can’t kiss other wizards in the meantime. Cissa said we’d get on, you know, and I don’t think she’s wrong in that.”

 _Narcissa?_ Did she also think that Regulus was… like that? “I’m not interested.”

“Because you’re caught up in Scamander,” Evan said, “not because you’ve never wondered what it’d feel like to kiss another wizard.”

“I’m not caught up in _Max_ ,” Regulus said a bit too hotly. “He’s my _best friend_. I’m sorry you don’t have actual _friends_ , Evan, really, besides the boys your father chooses for you, but I do, and that’s all that is.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Evan said, leaning against the railing. “It won’t get any more true, but you might start believing it.” He turned to Regulus and grinned. “I was serious, you know. If you ever want to snog, you know where to find me. I won’t tell anyone.”

Regulus looked at him then; really _looked._ Evan was handsome, with well-groomed dark blonde hair and blue-grey eyes. He had full, pink lips and _why_ was Regulus looking at his lips? His throat felt tight again, and he had a feeling he was about to do something he’d regret for the rest of his life – he noticed that Evan had leaned in, and realised that he had, as well; they were less than an inch apart, now – when a voice called, “Oi! Rosier! What the _fuck_ do you think you’re doing with my brother?”

Evan arched an eyebrow. “I think you’d better take care of him. He seems a bit _drunk_. We can talk later.”

And then Evan was gone, and Sirius was there, very obviously drunk. “What the fuck did _he_ want?”

Regulus cleared his throat and tried to seem composed. “Narcissa has been encouraging both of us to be friendly, as I’m sure you noticed at Christmas. I doubt it’ll come to anything; his friends are vile.”

Sirius clapped him on the shoulder. “Good. Don’t talk to him. He’s a prick.”

“You’re drunk,” Regulus said.

“I’m not marrying some snotty purist princess,” Sirius said. “Fuck them. I’m _fifteen_ , you know. I’ve got two more years, and then I don’t have to do anything they say.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure Regulus will process this all in a completely healthy way.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus sees his friends again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (in which Evan Rosier does not appear)

Max pulled Regulus into a hug in their compartment on the Hogwarts Express barely days later. “Bad hols?”

Regulus hugged him back reflexively, and found that he never wanted to let go. Max was already half a head taller than him – and Regulus wasn’t short, either – and there was something comforting about it. He felt almost… safe in his friend’s arms.

“My parents arranged for Sirius and I to meet about two dozen eligible pureblood girls from the continent,” Regulus said, letting go of Max and feeling heat rush to his face for reasons he couldn’t quite explain, but at least the blood was going to his  _ face _ this time. “Rosier accosted me,” (had said Regulus was gay and in love with Max, which he absolutely was  _ not _ , and then had propositioned him, and they’d very nearly kissed), “and Sirius got drunk off his arse.”

Max bit his lip. “That’s not good.”

“Some of the girls were nice, and… from what I could tell, not  _ all _ of them were purists…”

“You don’t have to convince me you’re okay with this, Reg,” Max said. “It’s  _ me _ .” 

Regulus shrugged. “I’ve got to marry a pureblood witch anyway, don’t I? Sirius certainly won’t continue the family line.”

“But still…” Max said. “You should be able to pick who you want to marry on your own. And you’re thirteen, it’s not as if this should be something you’ve got to think about before you’re done school.”

“That’s where my parents disagree,” Regulus said.

Max, for once at a loss for words, dug through his bag and handed a book over to Regulus. “My brother gave me this for Chanukah,” he said. “It’s about kabbalistic approaches to arithmancy. Posits that the magical powers of eighteen are stronger than those of seven, and other stuff. I’ve already finished; you can read it. It’s in English.”

Regulus took the book. It was in English, to be sure, and he  _ did _ like arithmancy. “Thanks.”

“Of course,” Max said. “What else are friends for?”

Isaac came into the compartment seconds later. “Miss anything?”

“My family is terrible,” Regulus said, “and I think Evan Rosier fancies me.”

“Wait,  _ what _ ?” Max asked. “That’s  _ not _ what you said.”

Regulus shrugged. “It was… strange. I dunno. Sirius interrupted before I could ask.” This was not strictly true, because Regulus hardly thought offering to snog him – three times – and actually leaning in to do so meant that Evan was less than clear in his intentions, but a white lie couldn’t hurt. 

“Didn’t figure Rosier went that way,” Isaac said.

“Are you sure he’s not just trying to get a rise out of you?” Max asked.

Max knew as well as Regulus did, surely, that Rosier thought he was gay. “I dunno. Mostly, I suppose. Dunno why else he’d act that way. Anything like that against me would be just as bad for him.”

“I don’t think I’ve said this lately,” Max said, “but I  _ hate _ pureblood politics.”

“So do I,” Regulus said. “And my parents are trying to get me married off.”

Isaac looked shocked for a second, and then his expression settled into something that made Regulus deeply uncomfortable. “You’re  _ thirteen _ .”

Regulus shrugged. “They don’t care about any of that. They just don’t want me disgracing their name by falling for someone who’s not a proper pureblood witch.”

Max moved over to sit next to Regulus and throw an arm around his shoulders. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but we’re both here for you if you do.”

He was really lucky, he knew, to have his friends. “I… I don’t want to.”

“Okay,” Max said. “So Isaac, did you actually read the new Cassius Warbeck? Because, oh my god, I just want to shake Angela by the shoulders! Why is it so difficult for her to grasp that her fiancé is  _ in love with her _ ?”

“Well,” Regulus said, “she  _ is _ a Black.”

“But he’s so obvious about it!” Max said. “He’s been mooning over her since first year!”

Isaac coughed. “I, er, kind of agree with Reg,” he said. “It’s all political, isn’t it? He’d have agreed to marry her even if he didn’t love her.”

“But he  _ does _ love her! And poor Leo’s over there, drowning his sorrows in firewhisky with Gus, meanwhile…  _ what _ is going on with Castor and Dorian?”

* * *

“Max?” Regulus asked, putting his book down. He was only a few pages in so far, but a thought had occurred to him.

“Yeah?”

“You really think Sirius is gay?”

Max hesitated. “I mean… yeah? Why?”

Regulus cleared his throat. “Evan Rosier… said the same thing.”

“Evan Rosier also said  _ you _ were gay,” Max said, which made Regulus’s stomach churn. He tried to bite back the part of him that wanted to say  _ exactly _ , because he wasn’t gay. He wasn’t.

“I-I know, but… he brought up some… good points.”

“LIke what?”

“Girls are  _ always _ after Sirius, but we’ve never once seen him with one. The only girl he even  _ talks _ to is Lily Evans, and that’s just if she’s hanging round Lupin that day, and it’s usually to insult her.”

“Well…”

“He’s  _ fifteen _ , Max, and it’s not as if he’s… ugly or completely awful. Even  _ David _ had a girlfriend before he turned fifteen.”

“My brother didn’t,” Max said. “Or so he says. I was two; I don’t really remember. But… Sirius is a lot less… socially awkward and anxious than Jacob.”

“If he is… should I tell him? I mean, he’s my  _ brother _ . And he got  _ really _ drunk around all those girls, and he didn’t want to talk to a single one of them, and I thought at the time that it was just because they were purebloods that our parents had selected, but… if that were the case, then wouldn’t he  _ immediately _ start chasing after some Muggleborn girl?”

“That… does seem his style,” Max admitted. “If you think… you can handle it  _ delicately _ , Reg… it might be worth asking.”

“I think,” Regulus said, “I’ll wait a bit. See if… I see anything else that might… but you think he is?”

“Honestly?” Max asked. “Yeah. But I could be wrong.”

Regulus picked his book back up. Something about it was hitting very close to home in a way he didn’t like thinking about, but he knew Max and Isaac would want to discuss it once he was finished. “Why’s Maurice so caught up on this George, anyway?”

“If I told you,” Max said, “you wouldn’t believe me.”

“And why have Muggles got  _ human _ servants?”

“Well,” Max said, “I suppose they don’t have House Elves, so the wealthy ones still don’t want to do their own work. I imagine it’s very tedious without magic to help. Dunno for certain, though. Would have to ask Isaac or Dirk.”

Regulus hummed. That seemed strange, but he read on. Maurice was a horribly dense protagonist, that much was certain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a survey open for the characters [here](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/LMVBL7B) to see how everyone is feeling about them at this point in time. Depending on how people feel about certain characters, I might give them a few more scenes, or make them more relevant to the plot later on.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus discusses literature and encounters some Slytherins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearing the end of third year! Just a few chapters left!

“Did you ever finish that book?” Isaac asked a month into term at lunch.

“What book?” Regulus asked, although he knew very well which book Isaac was talking about.

_“Maurice.”_

“Isaac, he doesn’t have to read it if he doesn’t like it,” Max said.

“It’s not that I don’t like it,” Regulus said, because the book _was_ good. “It’s that I haven’t had much free time to read for pleasure this term, between Quidditch and courses and everything.” That _and_ the book, however good it was, made him deeply uncomfortable. He had, admittedly, been invested until Clive had broken up with Maurice. But he wasn’t about to tell his friends that.

Talking to his friends about _this_ book in particular felt like something he couldn’t do quite yet, and he was sure they’d forgive him for the lie if they knew.

“But you don’t mind that it’s about two men in a gay relationship?” Isaac asked.

“Why should I mind that?” Regulus asked, and he knew there were a million answers Isaac could give to that question.

“You… don’t?” Max asked.

“Of course not.” Regulus ran a hand through his hair. “I’m about… I dunno, after Clive came back from Greece.”

“Oh, it just gets better from there,” Max assured him. “It has a happy ending, that’s all I’ll say. Which is refreshing, because a lot of books about… two men together _don’t_ have a happy ending.”

“Have you read a lot of those, then?” Isaac asked.

“Well, you read the latest Warbeck novel,” Max said, and Regulus was vaguely aware that Max was deflecting. He didn’t question it, though, because he was happy for the change of subject. “I still think Warbeck isn’t straight, but… as much as I want Castor and Dorian to get back together… it’s not going to happen, is it? It was pretty finite.”

“Dorian’s an arse,” Regulus said. His friends looked at him with shocked expressions. “What?”

“Well, it’s just – and I’m sure I speak for both of us,” Max said. “Neither of us thought you’d actually _disagree_ with Dorian carrying on his family line.”

Regulus shrugged. “It’s different. Cas is in love with him. And he’s… he’s in love with Cas, isn’t he?”

“Surely, though, you know proper pureblood men who’ve done the same,” Isaac said.

“I suppose,” Regulus said. His mind went, in the moment, to Dorian Rosier – and wasn’t it strange that, out of all the characters Warbeck wrote, the wizard to leave the man he loved to marry a woman out of a sense of family duty shared his name?

* * *

Seraphina Greengrass caught him after Quidditch practise.

“Regulus! Darling!”

Regulus thought he’d spoken maybe twice to her, and wondered if Crouch or Evan had put her up to this. “I, er, hello, Seraphina.”

Seraphina smiled what Regulus was sure many found to be a charming smile. She was pretty, he knew, in the sort of way he knew Narcissa was pretty. Her big brown eyes were turned on him, and he adjusted his broom on his shoulders.

“I’ve been meaning to get you alone, but it seems like whenever I see you, you’re with someone! You must be very popular!”

Regulus didn’t think he was popular; he had his friends, and they were close, but it wasn’t as if he travelled with a crowd of people. Emmeline and Dirk were often off on their own, anyway. “What can I do for you?” he asked.

“You’ve been very rude,” she said. “I’ve been trying to have you ask me out on a date, and the next Hogsmeade weekend is almost upon us, and nothing!”

Regulus blinked. “You… want to go out with me?”

Seraphina giggled. “Of course!”

The thought of it – spending time alone with Seraphina Greengrass, possibly going to Madame Puddifoot’s, holding her hand, potentially even kissing her – Regulus fought to keep his face neutral as a wave of nausea hit him. “I’m sorry,” he said. “But I’ve plans.”

“The following Hogsmeade weekend, then?” Seraphina asked.

Regulus shook his head. “I’m booked solid through the end of the year. Very popular, as you said.”

Seraphina pouted. “I see… then next year?”

He wasn’t getting out of this, he realised. He bit back the impulse to shout that he’d nearly snogged Evan Rosier, because _surely_ Evan would corroborate. But that was stupid and reckless, no matter how _confused_ he was, lately. At that moment, he saw Emmeline and waved her over. “I’ve actually got a girlfriend,” he said loudly enough for Emmeline to hear.

Seraphina pulled a face. “This _Half-Blood_?”

Emmeline looked from Regulus to Seraphina, and then reached up to kiss Regulus on the cheek. “I thought we were keeping things quiet?” Regulus thanked Merlin she was willing to play along.

“Well,” Regulus said, “you know.”

Seraphina looked humiliated and stormed off.

“You know,” Emmeline said. “She’s going to go complain to all of Slytherin house, and Rosier’s going to tell her he thinks you’re gay. And that I’m gay.”

Regulus blinked. Surely he didn’t hear that right. “You’re gay? But I thought you and Dirk…?”

Emmeline laughed. “Oh, _Merlin_ , no! He’s sweet, and we both like languages! That’s it! No, I’ve never seen what’s so appealing about _boys_. Especially compared to _girls._ ”

That, Regulus knew, was where he and Emmeline differed. “Does anyone else know?”

“Dirk and Max,” she said. “I’ve tried to tell Isaac, but you know… I think he still sort of fancies me, and I’m not sure whether that’s the best idea.”

“You told _Max_?”

Emmeline nodded. “It came up over winter hols, when I went to visit.”

Regulus tried his best not to feel jealous at that. “Thanks for, er, backing me up, regardless.”

“I’m sure Rosier will demand to have a word with you for it,” she said, “so I wouldn’t thank me just yet.”

* * *

It was finally warm enough out to sit by the lake, so that was just what Regulus and Max did. Emmeline and Dirk were off doing… whatever it was that they did together, and Isaac was studying in the library.

Max lay with his head in Regulus’s lap as Regulus stroked his hair. “I hear you’re dating Emmeline?”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “Oh, don’t you start. She told me you know about her.”

“I _did_ think it was strange that you’d be dating a lesbian,” Max confessed. “She told me Seraphina Greengrass tried to ask you out?”

“Cornered me after Quidditch practise,” Regulus said. “Wouldn’t take no for an answer. About had a meltdown because Emmeline’s a Half-Blood.”

“ _Would_ you date a Half-Blood?” Max asked. “Not Emmeline, obviously, but…”

“I, er, I suppose?” he said. “Truthfully, I’ve never thought much about dating. I’ve always assumed my parents would just… provide me with a shortlist.”

“God, but that’s terrible,” Max said, taking Regulus’s free hand and tracing the lines in his palm. Max’s touch was gentle, and Regulus had to think of something else – Grindylows! They were ugly and awful! – to regain control. Why was he like this? What in the _world_ was wrong with him?

“Hey, Regulus!”

Regulus looked up to see Evan Rosier approaching. “Oh, Merlin, what does he want, now?”

“Probably to ask you how you’re dating a lesbian,” Max joked.

“At least he’s alone.” It would be much worse if any of Evan’s friends were around. Rosier came over and sat down in the grass next to Regulus.

“I hear you’re dating Emmeline Vance.”

Regulus shrugged.

“Because it looks to me like you’d really rather be with –”

This was bad, and with Max right there (with Max’s head in his lap, Regulus’s hand in his hair, his other hand in Max’s hands). Regulus knew he had to cut him off. “Evan, you and I both know that Seraphina wouldn’t have accepted any other answer.”

Evan’s gaze flitted to Max and then to Regulus. “No,” he agreed. “She wouldn’t have. Can’t say I blame her, either. Like I said at New Year’s: you’re fit.”

“Did you have a point to make, Evan, or were you trying to simply make conversation?”

Evan shrugged. “Just that I wasn’t aware lesbians dated men.”

“They don’t, but there’s nothing Seraphina Greengrass can do to get me to go on a date with her. Maybe you should go with her instead.”

Evan laughed. “I’ll pass. I’m much more interested in boys right now, truthfully. My offer still stands.”

“I’m not going to snog you,” Regulus said. “I thought I was clear on that.”

“Your words might’ve been,” Evan said, “but you leaned in, too.”

“I did no such thing,” Regulus lied. “As I told you then: I’m not interested.”

“Sorry, I can’t hold this in anymore,” Max said, sitting up and leaning in close on Regulus’s other side. “You tried to _kiss_ Reg?”

“I _told_ you I thought he fancied me,” Regulus said.

“That’s not the same as someone trying to _kiss_ you!”

“Oh, I can confirm that I fancy you, Regulus,” Evan said, eyes sparkling. “After all, you’d agree, wouldn’t you, Scamander, that Regulus is _delicious_?”

“‘Delicious’ might not be the word I would use,” Max said, and Regulus tried to look impassive, like it didn’t feel like a rejection. Why in the world did it feel like a rejection? It was _Max,_ of all people.

Evan shot Max some sort of knowing look, and Max blushed.

“Well,” Evan said, “Let there be no uncertainty on my part, Regulus: I’d let you do _whatever_ you wanted to me. Barty, on the other hand, wants you to let him do whatever _he_ wants to _you_. The choice is yours, really, but I know which I’d pick.”

Regulus swallowed. “Evan, did you have a point?”

“I won’t tell Sera that you’re not interested,” he said, standing up and stretching. “But you can’t expect her _not_ to catch on. And, again, you know where to find me if you change your mind.” He winked at them both, and walked away.

“He was… direct,” Max said after a moment. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but he didn’t. Regulus felt far too anxious to prompt him. Just how many people thought he was gay? Was he really that obvious?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The [survey](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/QNCC5ZX) is still open through the end of this fic, and I've answered all of the questions so far on my tumblr [here](https://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/post/183640949946/survey-responses-qa), and will continue to update as long as the survey is open! Thank you to everyone who's answered! If you've already completed the survey and have additional questions or input, please ask, either here or on tumblr! I'll be happy to answer.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus talks to Sirius

Regulus was perhaps up later than he should have been, working on a transfiguration essay and trying to figure out how to best ask McGonagall if he could stay for Easter – and make sure that Sirius did the same – when the door swung open and Bertram Aubrey, looking thoroughly dishevelled, crawled in, trying to be sneaky.

“Oi, Aubrey!” 

His brother was trying to be quiet, but his voice was unmistakable. Oh, no; what was Sirius getting himself into now? Had he and Max and Rosier all really been right about Sirius all along?

“Shh, you’ll wake the whole tower!” Aubrey called back out, voice barely above a whisper.

“Fine,” came Sirius’s voice. “Guess I’ll just keep your tie.”

Regulus heard Aubrey curse, and saw him hold the door open, lean through the doorway, and come back with a tie in his hand.

“See you tomorrow, same time?” Sirius called.

“Yes, of course.”

“I’d better.”

Aubrey shut the door, and turned to walk to the dorms when he seemed to notice Regulus for the first time. “ _ Fuck _ .”

Looking at Bertram Aubrey properly, Regulus could guess what kind of plans his brother had had with him. Hickies, really? “Discreet has never been my brother’s style,” Regulus said, and it would get Sirius killed one of these days.

“Don’t tell anyone,” Aubrey pleaded.

“Why would I?” Regulus asked. “We’ve got the same parents, after all.” And they all knew what would happen if Orion and Walburga found out that their eldest son was traipsing about with another wizard.

Aubrey looked relieved for all of two seconds, and had opened his mouth, presumably to thank Regulus, when Regulus said, “Of course, I’ve got to have a talk with him about this. Just because  _ I _ won’t tell doesn’t mean no one else will.”

* * *

Regulus often considered himself much more tactful than his brother, but the next morning, after making sure to eat some bacon while Max and Isaac steadily avoided the stuff (more for him, really), he told his friends he’d be back and walked over to the Gryffindor table.

Potter was in the middle of recounting some story about his most recent detention, but he stopped dead when he saw Regulus standing next to the table. 

“I’ve got to talk to my brother alone for a moment, if you don’t mind.”

Potter looked from Regulus to Sirius, who looked only mildly confused, and shrugged. “I can finish when you come back.”

And so Regulus took Sirius to a secluded corridor that was mercifully free of portraits at the moment. “I’m going to be blunt, here, because hedging helps neither of us,” Regulus said before Sirius could even start. “I was working on a transfiguration essay when Aubrey came back last night.”

What little colour there had been in Sirius’s pale face had drained completely. “You can’t tell anyone.”

“Why would I ever  _ tell _ anyone?” Regulus scoffed. “Honestly. I’ve known you weren’t about to carry on the family name since I was ten years old. I just wanted to let you know that… not everyone is willing to do the same. You could afford to be more discreet.” 

Sirius shrugged. “I’ll be disowned regardless, sooner or later. Besides, Uncle Alphard is gay, too, and he’s not disowned.”

And it made sense, really. Regulus vaguely remembered the discussion he and Max had had on the topic in first year, and, more recently, Evan Rosier’s confession that his father was gay. “Sirius, that’s different. Our parents are… it’s not about being  _ disowned _ . It’s about what they’ll do if they decide that it’s not  _ worth _ disowning you.”

“I don’t care,” Sirius said. “It was repressing it for so long – I’m not doing it anymore. It felt like if I’d held it in anymore, I’d have created some sort of gay obscurus, or something. It was eating me alive. I couldn’t keep pretending that I understand what James or Remus see in Evans – at least with Remus, they’ve things in common, but James is mad for her and they have  _ nothing _ in common! The whole… heterosexual courtship ritual bollocks has  _ always _ confused me, but it took me a bit to figure out why.

“A-and last year, with Remus, that was… it was  _ stupid _ of me to fancy my best mate, I’ll admit, but that’s what that was. A-and that’s when I realised that I couldn’t keep repressing it. Remus and I talked, and I… I didn’t tell him I fancied  _ him _ , but I… look, Reg, you have to understand.”

The worst part was that Regulus understood perfectly. It had been nagging at him for a while, especially with that book Isaac had gotten him for Christmas. He’d understood Maurice far more than he was sure Isaac or Max had, and it had made him terribly anxious. To hear his own brother echo much of the same sentiment… No. This was about Sirius. He could break down about this later.

“Whatever our parents do to me isn’t worth forcing myself to live in the closet and be miserable. I’m gay. If they don’t like that, they can sod off.”

Regulus thought there was something admirable in his brother’s nerve, but there was also something  _ spectacularly dense _ about it. Namely, that they came from one of the most powerful and ancient families in the country. “I’m staying for Easter. You should do the same.”

Sirius whistled. “So being forced to dance with those girls did a number on you, too?”

“I’m well aware of my responsibilities,” Regulus said. Even if the idea of marrying a witch made him feel sick and anxious and all kinds of awful.

“Reg,” Sirius said in a tone gentler than Regulus had thought him capable of. “You don’t  _ have to _ do any of that. If you’re gay, too, then that’s okay.”

“I’m not  _ gay _ ,” Regulus said, although it felt like a lie as the words spilled out. It  _ was _ a lie. “I don’t mind if  _ you _ are, but I’m not.”

“Okay,” Sirius said. “Regardless, you still don’t have to marry a proper pureblood girl  _ Mother _ selects for you and settle down right out of school to have a perfect pureblood family. And I really don’t think you want that.”

“It’s not about what I want,” Regulus said. It never had been.

“So you’ll be fine watching your friends go off and do what  _ they _ want to do, while you’re stuck chained to a tradition you never asked for just because your last name dictates what you should do?” Sirius rolled his eyes. “I don’t buy it. But I’ll be here for you when you realise that you’re done with the bullshit, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The [survey](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/QNCC5ZX) is still open until next week! You have until next Saturday to fill it out!  
> I've updated my answers to survey questions on tumblr [here](https://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/post/183640949946/survey-responses-qa), and will update again next week, and I'll also, at that point, give a summary of the feedback I've gotten!  
> Thanks to everyone who's filled out the survey thus far, and as always, you can ask me any questions you may have either here or on tumblr (where I do allow anonymous questions!)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus discusses literature and sits his exams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter for the year!
> 
> The survey is closed, and thank you so much to everyone who filled it out.  
> You can see the results [here](https://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/post/183991152906/survey-overview)!

Evan Rosier was unbearable. He was constantly catching Regulus’s eye and then either grinning or winking (or both), and would get close enough at Slug Club to whisper in his ear. The worst part was that, much as he detested Evan’s politics, and much as he hated that Evan ferried reports back to his family on him (which he was sure Evan was still doing), there came a point where he could no longer deny to himself that he thought, on more than one occasion, and not just in passing, about what it would be like to take him up on his offer.

Not that he’d ever admit that to his friends. Because that would be idiotic.

He watched Sirius exchange not-so-chaste kisses with Bertram Aubrey in the corridors and felt some sort of deep physical ache that wasn’t there when Dirk kissed his girlfriend. It wasn’t as if he fancied Aubrey – of course not – but…

He asked Max and Isaac, one day, “I finished _Maurice_. Were there – any characters that you found relatable?”

Isaac shrugged and said diplomatically, “I think there were relatable elements in each character. That’s part of why it’s so compelling. Even Clive, even in the second half – there’s something relatable there.”

“When I started,” Max said, “I think I related to Clive, a bit, but really only in the beginning, and then… Alec.”

“Why not Maurice?” Regulus asked.

Max shrugged. “I’ve always been pretty aware of my feelings. Maurice is _very_ bad at being aware of his feelings, even toward the end. Alec’s clearly in love with him and desperate to be with him, and Maurice - despite having had sex with him - thinks it's all some ploy?”

“But with Clive,” Regulus said, “do you really think it's possible for… something like that to happen?”

“What?” Max asked, “Turn straight? No. I reckon he was bisexual the whole time, like Alec, only _unlike_ Alec, he didn't realise it.”

“Yeah, but he never _did_ anything with his wife, did he?” Isaac asked. “We know Forster was gay.”

“The author was gay?” Regulus asked.

“Yeah,” Isaac said. “But I don't think Clive was bisexual. The bit about him noticing women was strange, but like… I dunno about _you_ , but that's not how _I_ think about girls. I think he was gay, but I do think he _did_ fall out of love with Maurice.”

“Then what do you make of him noticing women?” Max asked.

Isaac shrugged. “Self-loathing? A desire to be seen as _normal?_ I mean, they’re Muggles, and older than your dad, Max. But everything he mentions about women is so – superficial. He likes the attention he gets from them, but he refuses to sleep with his wife – if he were really attracted to women, why wouldn’t he sleep with them?”

“He didn’t sleep with Maurice, either,” Max said.

“I think that’s part of it, too,” Isaac said. “He’s internalised this self-loathing to a point where he thinks that – actually having sex would somehow _cheapen_ his relationship with Maurice. And it’s contrasted in the narrative directly with how Alec interacts with both Maurice _and_ women. _Alec_ is bisexual. Clive just desperately wants to be attracted to women so that he can fit in in society.”

“I mean,” Max said. “I guess I see your point. But regardless, there’s no way that Clive actually _turned straight.”_

“Oh, definitely not,” Isaac said. “The ending makes it clear that he’s miserable stuck in that marriage while Maurice and Alec are happy.”

“What about, er, Warbeck’s characters?” Regulus asked, then, in a desperate attempt to change the subject. “Who d’you relate to most out of them?”

“A bit of Leo, a bit of Pat,” Max said.

“Oh, with _that_ , it’s definitely Gus,” Isaac said. “Hands down.”

“Let me guess,” Max said, “you relate to Angela.”

“Well, and Castor, a bit,” he said, as if it didn’t feel like Cassius Warbeck were using his own life as inspiration for Castor. “Last Black heir, and all. And, the, er, nerve… issue. And the Quidditch.” And the snogging Dorian Malfoy under the stands and in the Astronomy Tower – not that he’d ever snogged anyone, but he’d realised that he _wanted_ to, and surely that was enough – and trying to reconcile who he was becoming increasingly certain he was with who his family needed him to be.

“I _love_ Castor,” Max said. “He does sometimes feel the most _real_ out of all of them.”

Regulus reread the novels in which Castor came to terms with who he was twice before exams. Perhaps this summer he’d put some work into figuring out who Cassius Warbeck really was, because there was no way Castor could be based off of anyone else. No one else could know how he felt so intimately.

He thought of Evan Rosier’s words back at New Year’s. His father wasn’t unhappy, and _he_ was that way, too.

And, besides, _maybe_ there was a pureblood witch Regulus could fall in love with. He just hadn’t met her yet.

* * *

Exams were over, and Regulus threw himself on his bed, feeling a strange mix of relief and dread. Exams, coupled with Quidditch, had nearly killed him, but he didn’t want to go home, either. Home meant Mum and Dad and having to pretend that he and Sirius were on opposite sides and being careful about what he wrote his friends because his mother was surely reading each letter.

Home meant pretending to his parents that he was a proper, poised pureblood heir who was _excited_ at the prospect of marrying a witch, and not a terrified teenager who nearly went into a panic attack anymore at the thought of spending the night with a witch, and who thought far too much about snogging other boys.

Max sat cross-legged on his bed, petting Thalia. “Erm,” he started, “so, I’m… not quite sure how to say this, but I think you both deserve to hear it.”

Regulus’s brain cycled rapidly through a hundred possibilities, each worse than the last. He really did have the same bad nerves as Castor Black.

“Okay,” Isaac said, sitting up on his own bed. Regulus forced himself to do the same. “What is it? You know we’re here for you.”

Max took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Well, truthfully, I’ve known… forever, really. Since I could think for myself, I think.”

He wasn’t Cursed, was he? Surely Newt Scamander had attracted enemies, some of whom wouldn’t really be above cursing a child.

“I’m gay.”

Regulus felt a rush of relief, mingled with something he couldn’t quite place.

“Oh,” Isaac said.

“Well,” Regulus said, trying to collect his thoughts into something more coherent than _thank Merlin you’re not Cursed_ or _I think I am, too, actually, what a coincidence_ , “you know that we love you.”

“It doesn’t change anything,” Isaac said.

“As long as my parents don’t find out until we’re of age,” Regulus added, because surely Max knew that his mother read his letters, and if he mentioned it there… “But I was starting to think you’d been Cursed, or something.”

Max laughed, but he still seemed anxious. “Not Cursed. Just gay.”

“Have you got a boyfriend?” Isaac asked, and of course he did, because he’d spent all year mooning over Emmeline.

Regulus tried to pretend that he wasn’t overly invested in the answer to this question. Max was his _best friend_. So what if they were both… whatever it was? He wanted him to be happy.

“No. No boyfriend,” Max said. “But I… wanted to tell you both. You’re sure you’re okay with it?”

“Why wouldn’t we be?”

“You have _met_ my brother, haven’t you?” Regulus asked. Sirius had been _flaunting_ his relationship with Aubrey as of late, and while Regulus found it annoying and nauseating (he didn’t want to know anything about his brother’s sex life! why did Sirius have to shout about it?), he had to admire his brother’s courage.

“But that’s your _brother,”_ Max said.

Regulus knew, really, if he said that it was him, too, that his friends would understand and support him… but he couldn’t. Not when he was going back to Grimmauld Place so soon.

Max continued, “We share a room, we use communal showers…”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “Max, I’m not concerned about sharing a room or showers with you, gay or not.”

“Neither am I,” Isaac said. “I mean, look, we share with _him_ ,” he jerked a thumb toward Regulus, who rolled his eyes. “And his family wants us dead. And I, for one, have known you for nearly as long as I can remember. I know you wouldn’t do anything inappropriate.”

“I think,” Regulus said, “I’d actually be offended if you _stopped_ being as affectionate as you are.” Because where would he be without Max’s constant touches? Without Max laying in his lap, without carding his fingers through Max’s hair?

Max breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without both of you.”

“So,” Isaac said, a devilish grin forming on his face. “You haven’t got a boyfriend, okay, sure. Have you got anyone you fancy, though?”

If Max’s glance flitted to Regulus while he blushed and denied having a crush, well, Regulus was sure it was just for moral support. After all, everyone in Isaac’s family was straight.

There was no way someone as wonderful as Max would ever feel anything like that for Regulus. The only people who liked him like that were psychotic, like Barty Crouch, terrifying, like Seraphina Greengrass, or… well, he didn’t know where to place Evan (besides “horribly racist”, which was true, charming though he may be), or Miri (besides “literal child”), but the point of the matter was that Max didn’t belong with them. Or with him. Max deserved better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do have a new (much shorter!!) survey for your thoughts on the end of this year - with only one required question, and a few open-ended ones - to try to shape how I'm editing the next few years, as well as the companion pieces I'm going to publish, and you can access that [here](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/GKV9B75)! As always, the survey is completely anonymous!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has left kudos and comments, and as always, you can ask me questions about the fic or the series as a whole here or on tumblr any time!
> 
> Year Four will start in two weeks!

**Author's Note:**

> visit me on [tumblr](https://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/) & view the [character guide](https://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/chars).

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [the one he (thinks) he needs (and the one i loathe)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17855024) by [xslytherclawx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xslytherclawx/pseuds/xslytherclawx)




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